First Night

I remember the first time I walked into a support group to work on my past abuse. I looked around at the other ladies and realized that by being there, each one of us was telling the other ladies we had been sexually abused. I felt so alone. I felt a few tremors of terror and vulnerable rising to the surface and pushed them down as I was so used to doing. In fact I was so shut down that when some of the women cried that night, I truly wondered what their tears were about. I envied them at some level, because I don’t know that anyone in the group understood I was in as much pain as they were. Nor do those women know that I finally was able to get to my tears and experience the healing they had from crying. I remember at first it was hard for me to focus on my own stuff and not step into a caretaker role, which was how I had avoided my own pain. I remember doing all I could to protect my own heart from more pain that first night. However, it was not long before I was impacted by each of their stories and loved them and prayed daily for them. Out of knowing and loving those women, came my desire to lead A Passionate Heart group. Even though I never got to the deep pain until after the group, God used the precious ladies to help me get to it so He could heal it. I invite you to write on the blog what you feeling about walking into your group for the first time. You can use a false name if you like…just remember to respect the confidentiality of your group and only share your own heart. We are praying that God would reveal His tenderhearted compassion as He walks with us through this year of your healing journey.